Cultivating Hope Against Fear

“When he looked up and saw a large crowd coming toward him, Jesus said to Philip, “Where are we to buy bread for these people to eat?” He said this to test him, for he himself knew what he was going to do.” From John 6:1-21

This extensive passage from John is full of powerful images. Jesus trying to withdraw and being followed by a crowd. He then feeds that same crowd and withdraws again when they attempt to make him the king. Jesus crosses the rough seas to tell the, tossed about, disciples that they can trust his presence. When they try to bring him into the boat, they find themselves suddenly at the destination they couldn’t arrive at through mere rowing. 

These images are all powerful icons of our own journey. I find them particularly helpful given the quick paced changes we’ve seen in our country over the past few weeks. An attempted assassination, the Republican convention, and the announcement by President Biden that he will not seek re-election have likely left us feeling like we have had as many scene changes as this lectionary passage for Sunday.

Years ago I arrived on retreat and was asked to read part of this passage in John. When I tried to read the sentence, “He said this to test him...”, I burst into tears and could not continue. I was so depleted and exhausted, so utterly without hope, and felt like Jesus was pranking me for no good reason. Why couldn’t he just get on with the feeding and not start with a test. 

Over the course of my retreat, as I caught up on my rest, I realized that the more helpful image in the text was when Jesus tells the disciples to have the crowd sit down. I started to imagine all the parts of my life that were “chasing” me and making demands, that had left me in such a state of depletion. To be fed by Jesus, meant I had to actually stop and allow myself to be nourished. 

The deep wisdom of this passage is that Jesus is not immune from those rhythms either. He time and time again withdraws from active engagement. He withdraws to pray, to allow the many voices, who are telling him who he should be, to be quieted so he can listen more deeply to the voice of God. When we are beset with external voices that are not allowing us to listen more deeply to the true voice of who we are called to be, we become hungry, fearful, and imagine the only solution is to row harder. This passage from John offers us a contrast. We can stop. We can sit down. We can listen for the voice of love who wants to nourish us. When the boat starts to rock, we can look for the voices that tell us to not be afraid and ignore the ones who’d rather see us terrified.

It is likely to be a roller coaster ride for the coming months as we ask important questions for our country. Regardless of our opinions or affiliations, the voice of Jesus is calling us to cultivate hope and push away fear. The only way I can consistently find that, is to make sure I’m stopping along the way.

Peace, Beth +