Seeking Light

“Once you were darkness, but now in the Lord you are light. Live as children of light—for the fruit of the light is found in all that is good and right and true." From Ephesians 5:8-14

As some of you know, I was under the weather on Sunday, so I ended up with some unsought rest in between the services. I’m fine now and grateful for a team that could step in at the last minute and cover things. If you know me at all, you probably realize publicly demonstrating that I’m not feeling well is my worst nightmare. I did, however, decide I was lightheaded enough that passing out in the pulpit was likely a worse choice.

I internalized a rather strong work ethic from an early age. I loved having a paying job in middle school when I looked after a neighborhood dog, and I’ve basically been working ever since. I love my work, which is a true gift. When I planned my sabbatical back in 2022, I resisted the notion of a public goodbye party. Celebrating the fact that I wasn’t going to be working for three months was a real challenge. It was also a real learning experience. When I came back, people said I was missed AND how well everything had gone in my absence. 

I realized I had made my productivity an idol and having that come to the light was an important personal epiphany. Small reminders of my physical limits, even when demonstrated publicly, remind me that I can rely on others when needed and that I am more than what I produce. What a lovely Lenten reminder!

Of course, one fun aspect of being limited was finding a new series to stream on TV. I love a good spy show and I found PONIES on Peacock. Set in Moscow in the 1970s, the title refers to Persons of No Interest. It’s about two women who work anonymously in the Embassy until their spy husbands die mysteriously who then become unlikely spies for the CIA. It’s funny, captivating, and poignant at places. A conversation between one of the women and an in-country asset asks the question of whether it is better to know hard things or remain blissfully ignorant. The man, a Moscow native, says it is always better to know the truth so that you are no longer in the dark. The exchange felt very aligned with Paul’s call to stand in the truth, which is light.

There are many hard things happening in the world right now. The light may seem elusive. As we round the halfway point in Lent it is always helpful to remember that we are children of the light. Seeing the truth can be difficult, but ultimately it sets us free. We do not need to obsess or dwell in the dark, but we can also have the courage to name the hard things and seek the light that may emerge. Maybe we lean more fully into our reliance on God. Maybe we remember that we are not in control. My hope for all of us as we make our annual pilgrimage to Easter Day is that we seek the light that is always available to us and share it with one another in community.

Peace, Beth +